Exodus 17:3, 7 - “Why do you bring us up out of Egypt, to kill us and our children and our livestock with thirst…Is the Lord among us or not?”

Wow! I remember a time as a child when my family was making a weekly 1-hour trip in the car and we stopped at a gas station for fuel and snacks. This was a routine stop, it happened every trip. As my father went into the station I flippantly offered an entitled request for a specific snack and questioned if he would recall it. The reason that trip stands out in my memory is because of my father’s hurt and frustrated response to his consistent grace. We made that trip weekly. We stopped weekly. Even though we didn't deserve snacks, almost without exception my parents budgeted for them and provided them. I had selfishly taken my parents’ grace and goodness for granted and believed I someone merited them.

When I read the Israelites' response in Exodus 17, my heart sank and I called to mind how I felt all those years ago when I realized how I had treated my father…

Ex. 17:12 - "But Moses' hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun." 

For months I have struggled to write a new blog post.  Most of the time I feel like I'm walking through an emotional and spiritual fog. Those who are familiar with our family can probably understand. On January 29th of this year our second oldest son, Cooper, passed away at home while in hospice care. He is the second of our children to do so. He was preceded by his younger brother, Whitaker, back in March of 2013. Both boys had special needs, and we suspect they may have both had some kind of genetic disorder. For nearly 11 years our family has been a special needs family, and now we aren't. I find myself doing things based on a decade of routines that are no longer necessary.